What Alexander the Great taught me the other night.
What do Toothpicks, God, and love have to do with money?
Something huge happened to me. I have to share it or I’ll burst. I’ve started another book about it but I can’t wait until it’s all perfectly clear to share it at least a little bit. I’ll just share with you the part that I’ve been getting clear on since it happened.
You all know from the live experiences, or the Facebook posts or the emails over the years that I’ve been meditating for quite some time. I credit my meditation practice as being largely responsible for my healing so robustly from Leukemia. I’ve engaged in a fairly regular mediation practice since before my healing and long before my teaching Bio Transformative Meditation.
Every once in a while - for whatever reason - I go deep!
I started my meditation a few Fridays ago much like any other meditation. Breathing, music, maybe some incense. Nothing fancy. My intention, however, was to go deep. It was about 6pm when I started.
I focused on exploring some powerful “stories” I had become aware I was telling myself. Stories of limitations. Stories of lack. Stories of resentment. I KNEW that these stories weren’t doing me any good. I felt like I had created my own saran wrap ceiling and for whatever reason, I’d been unable to tear through it. I knew there was “more” for me, for us, for you. I could see it. But for some reason, the stories I was telling myself were designed to hold me back. I was lying to myself and I knew it.
Tracey and I have been making incredible strides!
Tracey and I have been making incredible strides with each other, our relationship, our clients, our business. Especially in the past several weeks. We're doing great work doing what we love. We've launched an exciting new, powerful, 5-day, transformational, spiritual business event called The Retreat for women that we're proud and excited to share. Life is good. And yet, the language (and you know I’m a bit of a Papa Bear on the words we choose) I was using to speak to myself, was holding me back. I was telling stories that were slamming the breaks on when I wanted to hit the accelerator!
I recall consciously remembering specific “inspirations” during the meditation. I remember desiring to remember them. From my experience, I knew that if I couldn’t write them down, I would need to tell myself to remember the specific promptings, so I did. I remember feeling a lot of discomfort during the meditation. I recall feeling as though some really nasty energy was moving through me.
Time flew by as I remained in that meditative state. What felt like a few minutes was more like hours as I continued to travel across time and dimension in this expanded state I put myself in. After years and years of meditation, I felt safe exploring the extreme boundaries of my consciousness. I was continually prompted to trust the Universe. The many words to describe God came to mind as I was reminded to trust and follow my desire to explore the reaches of my spirit.
Okay, this might seem a little “out there” to some of you. If so, you’ll be okay. If not, great, hang on. Good stuff coming up!
During the meditation a familiar face came to my mind. Not a face I’d ever seen in my life but a face I’d seen in my meditations before. I recall this face in my meditations in my hospital room ten years ago. I recall this face during my meditations in the Adirondacks before I moved to Los Angeles. I recall it in many of my recent meditations and this one in particular.
The face of an old Greek King. I became aware of a name with the face. Alexander. Alexander the Great, King of Macedon and ruler of the western world. Not to put too fine a point on it. Having had some cool interactions in my meditations with some pretty cool historic characters in the past, I wasn’t particularly shaken by it. I just thought it was cool that the spirit of such a figure would appear in my consciousness.
The messages were coming fast and furious.
The more I breathed deeply, fostering the meditative state, the deeper I went into state. The deeper I went, the clearer the messages. It was as though I was having a conversation with Alexander the Great on the hillsides of the Peloponnesus. In rapid succession - or what felt like it - Alexander fed me one nugget of wisdom after another. And I was eating them up!
There were many very heady principles that were shared with me in this meditation. All of them gain clarity as I reflect on them now. I can’t say for certain what the origins of this information are. I can say that this information becomes clearer to me every day and the reasons why it was shared with me become clearer as well. I firmly believe that what I perceived in my deep state of meditation as an ancient Greek King was the collective consciousness. All of our collective wisdom, spiritual energy, thoughts, souls joining forces to channel into my consciousness that which I am meant to share.
I’ve heard some people refer to this experience as channeling. I’ve heard others say angels have spoken to them. I’ve heard others say it’s crazy. I’ve heard other call it the musings of an overactive imagination, delusions of grandeur or just plain nuts. Guess what? I don’t honestly care what you, or I or we call it. I know this stuff is the coolest collection of information I’ve ever “remembered”, and I’m going to share it as “directed”. That’s all I care about.
For now, I’m going to share one piece because it feels particularly timely. There will be more. I am blown away by 1) the sheer volume of the information, 2) the pithy nature of nearly all of it and 3) when I came out of state it was 4am!
So here goes.
This is what Alexander The Great taught me that night. The “nugget” I want to share with you today is this:
“I am, you are, we all are, intimately connected to all of our deepest desires.”
The follow up clarity that comes with this nugget is pretty cool. When I ask you say this statement of principle out loud, what comes up for you?
If you stand in front of a mirror and say in a strong confident voice, “I am intimately connected to all of my deepest desires!” what comes up for you?
God and Toothpicks? - Why engage in this inquiry?
Imagine a sandwich. A deli sandwich. The kind of deli sandwich that has so much of your favorite sandwich stuff stuffed inside that it’s practically bursting. So much of the good stuff that the center is at least three times thicker than the edges. So much delicious awesomeness that toothpicks are necessary to hold the sandwich together.
You want to eat the sandwich. You desire the sandwich. You fully intend to eat the sandwich.
But you won’t eat the toothpicks.
Think of the sandwich as representative of that which you desire. When you try to eat the sandwich or think about how great the sandwich is, or how awesome it will be when you have the sandwich, there is stuff that comes up that makes you feel like you probably won’t eat the sandwich. Worthiness. Inferiority. Fear. Judgment. Anger. Sadness. That stuff is resistance. Enough resistance and you won’t be able to eat the sandwich.
Enough toothpicks and you won’t be able to eat the sandwich.
Enough resistance to your deepest desires, and eventually you give up on your desires.
Now think of each toothpick as being fashioned of solid gold. Each toothpick now represents resistance that - if you attend to - will actually bring you closer to consuming the sandwich. Closer to the good stuff.
Each time you think of that which you desire deeply, what you feel as unworthiness, fear, judgment, anger, resistance, etc. is solid gold. Attend to what’s really behind each toothpick and you remove the toothpick. Remove the toothpick. Eat the sandwich.
In your life, when you think of your deepest desires. The things you feel deep in your heart you’re meant to see, be, do or have. What comes up for you? I suggest that these things that come up are the toothpicks in your life. Attend to them. Attend to them with steadfast determination. Attend to them with vigor. Attend to them with love, compassion, patience and enthusiasm.
For in doing so you’ll be removing the toothpicks from the delicious sandwich of your desires (band name: I call it).